Liberal is one adjective I would give GULSHAN DEVAIAH, for his ideologies about sex and its charm, are something the world should learn from. Secondly, his openness on the topic is something that made me admire him, not in a wrong way though. In Wild Encounters, celebrities generally tend to wear a mask of diplomacy, but this man was as candid as he could get, making the conversation range from sexy, to sexier, to sexiest. Read on… Words Nawaz Kochra
Would you strip naked in front of an entire unit if the role demanded it, or would you ask for a bare minimum crew to be present?
I had been offered such a role but I didn’t end up doing the film. I would say that definitely if in the script I have to be naked, I would consider doing it, if I am absolutely comfortable with the director and the cast. Once you’ve made up your mind that you have to be naked, then you overcome a lot of barriers and it doesn’t matter. But it really depends on the project and who I am working with. I would do it if the director and I are absolutely clear that we have a transparent communication about it.
Considering your profession, which is flooded with so many good-looking people of the opposite sex, do you feel like succumbing to temptation?
All the time (laughs). I’ve been married for five years now, but I tell you, it is hard. I am doing a good job keeping my zip closed (laughs). You get a lot of attention and it’s a vague industry. My wife too gets an equal share of attention. But we are very committed to each other and we love each other. But there are times when you go, ‘Damn, that one is hot!’
What did the word sex mean to you when you were 14, 18 and now?
14: It was everything. It was all in my head. I was a very shy kid. When you’re 13-14, you experience certain sensations and feelings. It was very new, fun and enjoyable, but also kind of scary because I grew up alone. Since I was the only child, there was no one to guide or help me. And your peers always take advantage of that. So there is a lot of misinformation floating then. It was confusing, but once you come to terms with it, then it is really exciting.
18: When you’re 18, you realise sex is like cocaine. It was a whole lot of fun, something you could never get tired of. There is no such thing as too much sex when you’re 18, till you don’t get any. I didn’t get shit. I was so shy that I never capitalised on booty.
Now: I think it is a bit overrated. As you grow up, you get over these childish ideas you have about sex. It changes the way you physically, mentally and emotionally connect with a person. So it is different. It is more personal now. There is more passion and intimacy now.
What is your take on one-night stands?
I am not doing it. Unless my wife and I are doing some role-play, maybe then. I think it is okay. If people’s lives are not ruined in the process, if marriages don’t break, and people are not hurt, it is fine.
Do you think pre-marital sex is very important for a man to feel manly?
Trust me, the more experience you have, the better it is. You don’t want to, on your first night with your wife, have no idea of what to do. And she tells you, do this, put it here, touch me there. So it is a little embarrassing. Sometimes, we care about the performance. Every man wants to be the best when he is having sex with a woman or a man, whatever works for people. The more experience you have, the more confident and relaxed you are, and the more fun you have. So if you get a chance to get some experience before marriage, I think one should.
Do you think sex is the most important ingredient that completes a long-standing relationship?
Yes, I do think so. But also I think a lot of people give it too much importance to it. I don’t think it is everything. I see people talk about sex and what they expect out of it sometimes. I wouldn’t give it so much importance. It is definitely important in a long-standing relationship, but it’s not the most important thing. And people confuse it as the most important thing. I can go on for months without having sex and still be intimate and compassionate about the person. I am losing a lot of fans after this (laughs).
In an interview, someone once said that the first thing he notices in a woman is her breasts. What is the first thing you notice when you meet or see a woman?
It really depends on the woman. If you don’t know somebody and you’re sitting at a restaurant and notice someone, I would definitely see her physical beauty. Sometimes when you get a little time, you look beyond physical beauty, like the attitude, and the way they speak. A woman can be sensual in million different ways. So it’s very difficult to point out one thing that grabs my attention. Women are beautiful in their own way.
What is it about a woman that draws your attention, beauty or brains?
Both. Why should we choose one besides the other? There are a lot of beautiful women who are intelligent, like Kalki Koechlin.
What in a woman turns you on then?
It could be the way her little finger moves. It could be the outfit she wears, it could be the way she speaks. I love to hear my wife’s voice on the phone. She has a great voice. Sometimes when we’re at home, I am like ‘call me, I want to listen to your voice on the phone.’ I can’t pick one, it is unfair to other women.
Is a woman dressing provocatively, reason enough for a man to think derogatorily of her?
I think one should have a sense of propriety, we do live in a society where some things have to be considered. Generally if a woman is wearing shorts or a tank-top, that is considered vulgar. People say she dresses like that, that is why rapes happen, this is all nonsense. People just make up shitty excuses to put people down. To put them in a submissive position, that’s bollocks. I think woman is free to dress the way she wants to. But if I am meeting them in their office and if they happened to be in a bikini, I would find it inappropriate, considering the situation. I don’t mind it. But I hope that explains it.
Men get into locker-room conversations about their conquests and women’s assets. Do you do the same with your friends?
Never, I keep it under that. Nobody knows shit about my sex life. Nobody, just my wife.
What if you were the only male contestant in Bigg Boss House? Which actresses or female contestants would you want to be locked in with?
Firstly, I don’t think I would enter Bigg Boss. Frankly and bluntly, I hate reality shows. It has killed television. I know it is consumed as a form of entertainment, and is really popular, but I despise it. See, I grew up in the 90’s watching television and TV meant something to me, because it influenced me. My love for films is through TV because I didn’t watch much cinema. There is no chance in hell of me being in Bigg Boss, but if if I am, hypothetically, then, Deepika Padukone.
If you were at a night club and a sexy babe asked you, ‘Can I buy you a drink?’, what would your reaction be?
Thanks for the drink. Free drinks, I’ll take the drink, casually flirt with her. Flirting is okay, it is allowed.
Where is the strangest place you’ve had made out?
I have made out inside an empty water tank.
Have you ever cheated in a relationship?
No, I haven’t.
When was the last time you chased a girl?
Literally chased a girl, when I was working on Hunterrr, because it was my job then. In life, long time ago.
When was the last time you watched Porn?
Yesterday. I was missing my wife (laughs).
Have any of your family members ever caught you watching Porn?
Yes, I was caught once by my dad. I was in my early 20’s and he used to work in a public-sector company. I was at home. He usually comes at a certain time, and that day, he came early. So, I had the VCR on and I was like (hand gestures). He had the keys and he opened the door and he just didn’t say anything. He had come to pick something up. He had lunch and he left. Before leaving he said, ‘When you are done, just pack everything up and keep it where it belongs.’ I was shitting in my pants. I immediately got rid of it. It was pretty embarrassing. He didn’t say anything, though.
Have you ever been hit upon by a man?
Yes, many times.
What was the situation like?
This gets a little odd. The first time it happened, I was at a bar. I was 22 or 23-years old and you can tell when a man is being a little affectionate by the way they look at you. It was a little difficult at that time because I wasn’t grossed out or anything. It had never happened to me. Maybe when I was younger it had happened, but then you’re a kid, and you don’t know. A creepy old man rubbing on your thighs, that’s also happened. I was wondering why this was happening and I told my aunt, he’s rubbing my thighs and she goes like ‘What! He’s rubbing your thighs? Never let him do that again’. So, that has happened, but it wasn’t sexual, from my side at least. Then you get used to and get comfortable with sexuality and you learn about what being gay is. Then you have friends who are gay. So, when you get comfortable with it, now it’s flattering, I get flattered when women hit on me, men hit on me, dogs and cats hit on me.
Have you ever been caught with your pants down?
Yes, a couple of times, but they didn’t know that my pants were down (laughs). I quickly got into bed. I was seeing this girl at that time and we didn’t get time the whole day, and then in the evening we were initiating and undressed, and suddenly someone walked into the room quickly. I was like oh f**k, I am busted. He knows we were doing something. He didn’t figure it out luckily.
Would you be taken aback if a woman makes the first move?
Not at all. I am too shy, I always expect women to make the first move.
Have you been in a relationship which has been purely physical?
Yes, for a short time. These things never last long. By short time, I don’t mean 30 seconds (laughs).
Given a choice which of these would you want to be; boy-next-door, sex icon or a power-packed performer?
Right now, sex icon. I am contradicting myself here because at some point, I don’t think I can be a sex icon. So that looks really attractive right now.
Woody Allen once said ‘Most men have sex, most of the time on their minds, which is, unfortunately, the wrong place to have it.’ Do you think he’s right?
Yes, I would tend to agree with what he is saying. We do, I don’t know about women though. I am sure they have sex in their head, but with men, yes, it’s all the time. Even when they are flirting, they are wondering how it would look if I was with this person. It’s healthy, it’s fine, and that’s how the mind is.
What kind of a lover are you? Hard and sleazy, soft and surprising or wild and funny?
I can be all, depends on the situation. I can do all of these.
Have you ever lied saying good friends, when you were more than that?
Never. It’s always the woman who’s said we’re good friends, and I go, ‘Hey, what was last night about?’ (Laughs)
Which director would you not mind doing an intimate scene for?
I guess it would totally depend on the project. I could do it for any director, but if you want me to name just one director I would do that for, if Pooja Bhatt is directing a film, I suppose I would work with her.
Have you ever been a victim of the casting couch?
I don’t think so. I have somehow managed to evade this phenomenon in the industry.
Does Gulshan have a wild side?
Maybe. Well, it depends. What do you want to know exactly? Yes, there is a wild side.
Do we see the wild side on-screen?
Sometimes yes, I am fiercely private about certain things in my life. I think it comes from having grown up by myself. There are things that I wouldn’t even share with my wife. They are very personal things. They are mine. I don’t mean to disrespect her, nor am I saying that I don’t trust her. In a way, I do live out my fantasies on screen, I wouldn’t tell you what. One would assume they are sexual in nature, but not necessarily. I fantasise about a lot of things. I am an actor because I like to be somebody else from time to time and explore. Maybe certain aspects that are there hidden inside me. So it is definitely a fantasy. I do use that as a flavour in my work.